What I wouldn’t give for a homoerotic bromance like theirs. <insert “ring” joke here….myyyyyyy precccccciiioooouuuuthhhhhhhhhhh>
Sam: [Both are overcome by exhaustion] Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It’ll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they’ll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields… and eating the first of the strawberries with cream. Do you remember the taste of strawberries?
Frodo: No, Sam. I can’t recall the taste of food… nor the sound of water… nor the touch of grass. I’m… naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil… between me… and the wheel of fire! I can see him… with my waking eyes!
Sam: Then let us be rid of it… once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you… but I can carry you!
I’ve already declared my indecent feelings about the Wild West, when men were men, and their guns were extensions of their penises. But this time, my Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name goes out to The Man With No Name, Clint Eastwood’s character in Sergio Leone’s “spaghetti Westerns”. The epitome of the strong silent type, The Man AKA Blondie combines piercing blue eyes, peppery stubble and serious style (check out his black shirt and scarf combo in A Few Dollars More) with moral ambiguity and full-bore badassedness. AND a soft side - just look at him with that kitten. AWWWWWWWWWW…
Who, you ask? Why, Luke Goss-off-Bros’ character in the Guillermo del Toro-directed Blade II OF COURSE. Perhaps an odd man-crush, seeing as he’s a) not a man b) not real c) only interested in your blood (and only then once he’s finished off all the vampires) and d) pretty freaking ugly when he cracks his jaw.
But check out his clothes - he’s rocking that “derelicte” look better than Zoolander ever could. It’s all about the hoodie, the animal-skin cloak, the scarf, the boots and the clean-shaved head. If that dress sense is a side-effect of being turned into a reaper, then he can suck me dry!